How to Workshop your Peers paper

Throughout this reading I read about how to critique a paper and the thought process you should go through when reading other people's work. My first impression was "yeah tell me something I don't know". The reason I thought that was because I understand that I'm not the teacher and I am not the one giving the grade instead I am giving my opinion and help clean up the grammatical errors I notice. The second part of the reading which talked about things like: where you should put your comments, how you should show where the writer may have made an error or where you think the writer could clarify a statement he/she has made. Now that part I don't think is to serious because if you explain the changes you've made then it shouldn't matter where you put a comment as long as you make it clear to writer that you had an issue about a specific part of their paper and why.

On the Uses of Liberal Education

This reading like most readings we do in this class really peeked my interest. Education is something that I hope to use as my platform when I run for a seat in the Senate one day. This reading related to all of the negatives in life such as: isolation, racism and crime to poverty. Now I do agree that there are a lot of obstacles in front of you when you are growing up in a poor neighborhood. However I don't agree that racism is one of them simply because I can't think of any poor communities in which there are multiple races in one community. I also didn't understand how politics have anything to do with poor communities and why this article thinks it to be so important.

That paragraph about the teacher meeting his class intrigued me because I always wondered why kids grow up wanting to be teachers definitely a high school teacher.We all have been in those classes and felt sorry for the teacher that has to deal with the attitude and difficulties that come with an unruly class. Then you add a not so great pay check and well I guess all you have to go on is you passion for the students. I feel as if there are a lot of professions that I can't see why someone would want to pursue but I am glad that they are being filled because someone has to do it. In class we discussed a reading that claimed that schools prepare students for a career similar to those in the community in which the school resides. This reading backs up that argument from the point that the humanities which rich people greatly understand are not taught in all schools specifically those schools in poor communities. Add that with the fact that not all students go to college to get those humanity classes. In the ghettos and not-so glamorous neighborhoods schools are not institutes of educations instead they are day cares for teenagers, a social playground with false hopes of educating students enough to get out of those neighborhoods. I feel as if all teachers saw their careers as an opportunity to better students in their class and not as a job then they would actually make the extra effort to properly educate their students rather than do the bare minimum. 

The third thing that I took away from this article was that in school I believe that most adults for get that at home you still have responsibilities and juggling those along with getting an education is not easy. In poor neighborhoods similar to my own which most of my friends also come from I have witnessed kids needing to take care of their younger siblings because mom has to work, or every two weeks going to the prison to see your dad. Those things not only stress the body but the mind as well and if the schools are not willing to help these kids on a more personal level then they cannot truly educate or better the students that they are trying to impact.

Women in the working class response

My designated section of the reading was the "Boys are Buggin" section. Throughout the reading I gained mixed feelings about some of the things that were stated in the reading. Most of all I wondered where the writer was getting this information. Throughout my response it may seem as if I am jumping around from different topics but bare with me because I have a lot to say.

For one the writer stated that men "could not be counted on to support them and any children they might have". I totally disagree with this statement for one thing we live in a country in which the government system is dominated by men, an economy where majority of the wealthiest people in the US are men. So for someone to assume that men can't be counted on is incorrect. If by chance you were to bring up the amount of single-parent families, then you would also have to think of how many families have one parent because of a death in a family, and also not all single parent-families consist of the mother not the father.

Another topic that I found quite interesting was the part about women wearing make up and nice clothes when they go out. I for one was very intrigued when the writer stated that women don't wear make-up in order to attract men. Most men my age don't really find women with make-up to be attractive in fact I thing that it is very rare to find a girl that looks attractive with make-up on, however that might change when I'm older. So my question to the writer would be then who are you trying to impress, I mean I wouldn't spend hours getting ready if there is not anyone I am actually trying to impress.

The writer also mentioned girl's ability to get over certain rules in class that boys could not. I for one have definetly experienced that and wondered if that had anything to do with adults (especially male adults) not wanting to be too hard on females. The only thing I want to question is why not treat a girl as firmly as you would a boy? This reading reminded me of civil rights activist Susan B. Anthony who actually argued that women should be punished as much as a male would if he committed the same crime. That shows that this issue has plagued mankind for centuries and maybe it has something to do with the psychology around women being soft sensitive flowers that no one wants to see get hurt.

Furthermore the writer talked about how women do better in school than males, which I agree with but I think that it is because of men are men and women are women. To better explain what I mean, as a man sex and the want to be with a woman is constantly on our mind especially when women are around. So in class we are more interested in impressing our female classmates rather than pay attention in class. Men are often referred to as "dogs" because of how desperate we can see at times when actually it is not something we do intentionally its just that a female is so hard to figure out that we try so many things to attract her attention to the point that it seems pathetic. Now I don't know if women have the same issue with their hormones, but I extremely doubt it. Also if you think about it the reason that Morehouse is so effective at preparing men for the real world is because it is a male only school (Which leads me to believe that they have already figured out this obstacle).

Questions about my Writing History

What is the most helpful advice you received? Explain.

The most helpful advice I have received came from my mom. Throughout my life I struggled with fitting in socially because of my Cerebral Palsy which caused me to have low self-esteem when I was younger. One thing I can remember my mom telling me when I was younger was that people can sense how confident you are and if you show that something about you is bothering you then  people will see it no matter how hard you try to hide it. That piece of advice is why I don't try to hide anything about who I am and I also don't use my own weaknesses as a crutch. In no way shape or form do I take pity on myself or use my Cerebral Palsy as an excuse for anything. I believe that if I don't have full faith in myself then everything I do is pointless.

What is the least helpful piece of advice you received? Explain.

The least helpful advice I have received came from my dad. One day when I was 16 or 17 he had told me that drugs will ruin you if you give it a chance. The reason I believe that that advice is not helpful because of all of the things that I struggle with in my life drugs is not one of them because for one everyone even some commercials tell you not to do drugs so saying it over and over again doesn't give me any extra knowledge or way of thinking.


What questions do you have about Megan's comment?

One thing you addressed about my paper was that I didn't clarify on what kind of writer I am. Well personally I don't understand what kind of answer you are looking for. I don't know what kind of categories you think of when assessing writers. I mean I think I am a good writer that can fully explain something if the information is available and I writer how I talk. I feel as if you are asking for something more because all of the things I can say about my writing are general things that I believe a good writer should have and I have some things I can work on as well. So my question to you is what kind of answer are you looking for? Which is why I asked you for an example in class, because I don't understand what am I suppose to be taking away from this assignment.

What are your plan's for revision?
Well my first step will be to address the comments stated in my paper. For example I will structure my paper as and actual essay rather than bullet points, also I will ask my teacher to have a conversation with me about this assignment because certain things she mentioned in the comments I would like for her to explain. After that I feel as if I will be able to complete this assignment appropriately.

School & Career Choosing

For the past few days I have been thinking about how I chose what my dream career is and I feel compelled to blog about it. In the 5th grade I had a huge passion for wanting to be a video game designer, around the 10th grade when I had the opportunity to learn how to create a video game and give it a try myself my passion grew significantly. Unfortunately when I enrolled in Prairie View A&M I found out that they didn't offer a Game Designing major, but I didn't let that stop me so I declared Computer Engineering as my major and hoped that I would still be able to pursue my dream. By the second semester of my freshman year I had decided that Calculus is not my cup of tea. However I was taking a political science class at the time and was very interested in all of the concepts that had anything to do with politics. So I changed my major to Political Science and I believe that I not only committed to learning all I can about different politicians and types of government. For example I actually paid attention to the recent election, I voted in a presidential election for the first time and I even interned for a Representative on Capitol Hill this past summer. The reason I blogged my story to how I came to the idea of being a politician is because I want to know how school has influenced the career choices of students all over the country. For me I wouldn't say that school has a big influence on my choice because through all of my years of schooling I wanted to be a video game designer simply because I love playing video games, and then I changed to Political Science because I figured out that I didn't want any more math in my college career. So I ask all of you do you think school, an institution has a big influence on your career choice?  

My 54 Year Love Affair with the SAT : Response

When reading the excerpt the first thing that jumped out to me was when Mr. Kaplan stated " I could see that the questions were designed to test student's knowledge and applications of basic concepts, not their ability to regurgitate facts". That statement seemed so interesting to me because classes which are Science or History based seem to do just that teach students facts and test them in order to see what percentage of facts they remember. Really if you think about it classes that are not centered on Math or English consist of only facts. However schools teach more than just Math and English and they try to give the students a fair amount of education in each category. So based on the SAT scores how would you gauge a student’s overall knowledge if the school system does more than just teach students basic concepts. Also the SAT scores focuses on Math Reading and Writing however colleges need the students to be equally adapt in those areas as well as History, and Science even though those courses are not on the SAT. Another interesting point of the reading was the section regarding how the SAT created a "leveled playing field". Mr. Kaplan believed that the SAT allowed students who didn't come from a prestigious high school to attend a top 10 college. However I disagree with that statement because if you take two students, one coming from a great private high school ranked in the top 10 in the country and has a 3.8 GPA and the other student comes from a public school in the bottom 10 high school with a 4.0 GP, and you give them the exact same test then one student has a clear advantage over the other because the program he comes from has gave him a higher education than the other student. I also don’t agree with colleges looking at SAT scores because it gives very limited information on the student rather than focusing on the GPA. The student's GPA shows how well they absorb information and the type of effort they bring forth. With those two characteristics alone you can determine how well you can educate this student and how likely they will succeed in an academic environment. 

My Writing History

• Future Civic Leaders & Freshman Speech Class

 

These two events improved both my skills as a writer and speaker. Throughout these two events I began to understand the importance of writing in the way that I would speak. This allowed me to not only become a better speaker but write in a way that I could present myself well on paper.

•My First Political Science Research Paper & AP History Class

 

In college and even in high school I was required to write about specific prompts or write a paper that required me to do a lot of research. Naturally through my research I would learn new things and as I write my paper I would basically put my new thoughts on paper. After I went through the process of writing so many papers I found out that with all of the thoughts that I would flood my paper I struggled to transition from one thought to another so it is important that I not only read my own work but have a reliable person read it as well.

 

•My First Short Story & My Trip to Greece

 

During the 11th grade I was fortunate enough to pass my Greece Scholars class and went on a 3 week trip to Greece. While in Greece we were responsible to write about every museum we went to. After about the 6th museum I started to realize that I am not particularly effective in writing about things I have no interest in. On the other hand when I wrote my short story in the 12th grade I learned that I have too much to write about things that I have a great interest in. For example the assignment was to be between 3-5 pages a few days before the due date I had 8. I also learned that when it comes to creative writing I don’t know how to end a story it's like I can write on forever.

•AP Government Presidential Research & 50 Greatest Speeches

 

In AP Government we had an assignment in which we had to research any president and write about their views on all of the major types of policies. I chose Theodore Roosevelt (because we have the same birthday). What I learned during my research is that men who leave a mark on this country politically have a mind for speaking and writing persuasively. At the time I didn’t have a serious interest in politics as I do now. Thinking back I realized that writing and speaking are going to be my greatest allies definitely if I want to make it as a politician. During my freshman year in college I had to pick and critique a speech from one of the top speeches in American history. The speech I chose a speech from Huey P. Long titled "Every Man a King". While writing my review I read some of the thoughts from those who heard his speech and person and realized how influential words can be. Since then I've wanted to concentrate on learning how to influence others both on paper and when speaking to others.

•D.C Neighborhood Project & A.P Government Legislative Course

 

During my 12th grade year I took a D.C history class and the final assignment was to pick a neighborhood and research its history with the intentions to explore a specific topic. For my project I chose my neighborhood Anacostia and was exploring the topic of how the neighborhood was in a cycle both economically and socially. Throughout my research I learned not only about the impact of gentrification but how my writing represents how I learned from my research and how it bettered my word choice. Also in the 12th grade I enrolled in AP Government and at a particular part of the class we discussed the legislative branch to a far greater extent than I'd ever had in high school. During that part of the I learned about how specific you have to be especially during a session in Congress. I applied that to my writing and focused on not having a lot of extra and only write about something that would better prove my point.

 

During my time in high school quite a few of my teachers affected me both as a student and as a person. I couldnt really distinguish which one had the greatest impact on my life but I can think of one example that really stuck with me. My Algebra 3 teacher Mr. Council, on certain days he would dedicate a class not to math but as to bettering myself as a black person. HE would bring in some reading that would talk about how well African Americans tested in certain subjects as compared to our white counterparts. Throughout the class not only did I become a better math student but I really made it an effort to go an extra mile to learn all that I can.